this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
