i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
