If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
