i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
