You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
