I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Of course I have a pirate flag
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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