I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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