hotel room ftw
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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