Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
