Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
