we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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