hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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