everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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