these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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