He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize