Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
