I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
