Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
