I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
