actually, I'm a sock model
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
