Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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