how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize