So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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