I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
one might say we're banned from that church
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
