Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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