maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
