once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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