Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
