I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize