I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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