She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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