marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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