Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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