i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
