it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
