I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
