I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
