I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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