Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have fence marks all over my body
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
