i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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