I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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