Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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