at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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