they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
