She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
