Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
