Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
