I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
