Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
