Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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