i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
