i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
