I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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