roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this just has baby written all over it
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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