i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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