She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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