More tranny stories later!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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