grandma shit on top of the toilet
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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