Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
